End of a transition year

Life is good.

Life is hopeful.

Life is joy.

This is now, it was not for the most part of the last year.

Tony moved to the US June 2015. Although our love was strong, we were both committed, it was not an easy sail as the fairytale. We haven’t been in contact with each other for almost 10 years, we lived our lives apart, we grew to a semi-different person than when we fell in love 15 years ago. So we had to learn about each other, the good, the bad and the ugly. During this process, I also learned a lot about myself. I got a new understanding of love, relationship, respect, and communication. Going to therapy really helped me to learn these. Yesterday I emailed my therapist that I’m ready to take a break from weekly sessions because I feel I’m in a good spot and I can be on my own.

The transition year was not only about love and relationship with this new person. Tony also needed to adapt not only me, but also our family and a new city. He with only two suitcases and left behind his family, his friends, his job and his comfort zone.

I had no doubt that he’s capable of settling down here well because he lived in Canada for 8 years, so this life is familiar to him. BUT finding a job was not easy. He got frustrated, defeated; I got upset, angry. He gave up looking, I kept pushing and we both ended up feeling like a failure. It was hard, really hard. The feeling of not knowing where the future lies for him, the anger of not knowing where to put the effort to see hope, and the constant feeling of self-pressure. I know it was hard on him. I knew it. But I found it useless to cry and to be upset together. So I kept trying. I kept encouraging.

Finally, something came up. We were all cheerful. We shared the news with family and friends. But the joy only lasted for a week. We were back to zero. We didn’t understand why this happened.

But I told him and myself, everything happens for a reason, we just don’t know at the moment.

And I was right.

A month later… he started working. Not at an ideal place, not an ideal job. But at that point, anything was better than nothing.

He started working everyday. I didn’t allow myself to be cheerful, not yet. What if this is temporary again? I can’t stand another disappointment.

But then he continued to work, I got used to our new routine. He working during the day while I stay at home taking care of household tasks and Lizzy.

One month after he started, something unexpected happened. The company offered him a permanent position just few weeks before his temporary contract expires. It was exhilarating!!!! I was sooooooo proud of my beloved husband. How much effort he must have put in this job, a job that is beyond his capabilities, for them to want to offer him a position so soon. This is the man I fell in love. I knew he is capable.

Now that he has a full time permanent job. We also laid out a medium plan for his career path. I did the research, he was excited, and one week later, he has started this new project!

This marks the end of our transition year.

We are in a sweet spot now. Content with present and hopeful about our future. 🙂

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