This morning I saw this video and it brought me nostalgia about Sofia’s babyhood. Although I always reminded myself that time flies with babies, and that I want to catch every moment of life of Sofia before she becomes a real person… well… once again.. I feel I failed. Too many days I rushed over little moments with her… hurry up to dress up, to leave the house, to finish dinner, to brush the teeth… hurry up… while my heart wants to slow it down. I am truly blessed to have her in my life and can’t imagine it without her… she brights my day and brings me hope and happiness, she frustrates me, irritates me, true, but most importantly, she makes me feel loved, needed. Her unconditionally love makes me feel guilty of not giving her more… more attention, more patience, more time.
So… here I am… pausing for a moment, remind myself in time to “see” her grow once more, and remind myself to LIVE every moment with her as the last one, because she will grow TOO fast TOO soon.
At 3 years and 7 months… she’s developed a personality. She’s hilarious, fun, caring, has strong will, knows what she wants, understands everything (according to her teacher) despite being the youngest in class, friendly with strangers, likes to show off her outfit and toys, fearless, loving, loves her mommy and grandpa.
Sometimes I wonder whether the divorce have affected her.. whether I’ve made the wrong decision, but every time I see her smily and silly face, I was assured she’s fine. She’s happy. She knows she has two daddies and she says it as it is something she’s proud of.
somedays I see her as a grown up person, others I feel she’s still just a baby. For example, when I tell her that when she wakes up in the morning, she can’t leave her bed except to go to the bathroom because when it’s dark outside, there’s a big bear looking for kids who leave their beds, and she totally believes me.
Although I’m very strict with her, when I say no to something, it means no, she stills loves me and wants to be with me before anyone else. Although when grandma is here, I wonder if she says she prefers me over grandma because she cares about me feelings.
We try to go out every weekend with her to explore new things, and she loves getting on a boat
to the capital wheel
even groceries trips are fun for her. Her favorite thing to do in groceries stores are to taste free samples. when there’s none, she would complain about it. Going to the groceries store is part of our weekend routine. There’s only one weekend that we weren’t going (right after Lizzy was born) and she asked grandma why we didn’t go.
Kids imitates parents… i enjoy doing groceries, explore new food and plan for new meals… Sofia seems to do so too. I plan to let her get more involve, such as letting her pick 1 fruit, 1 vegetable every week so she feels part of the process, and hopefully encourage her to eat them too.
Her school has every friday show and share, in which each kid brings a toy to show and explain it to the class. Sofia loves that and wants to bring something to show off every day.
As every kid, she loves cake and ice cream. I think she loves the idea of them more than the food itself. Cakes are usually eaten with celebrations, birthday parties in class, and birthdays at home. Ice cream is a Saturday tradition. Each Saturday she can have ice creams. Although she needs very little of it, such as a scoop or half of it, she really enjoys it.
Tony is her male figure now. Alt. For 2.5 years, she lived with two women, although we love her and give everything she needs, there was still something missing. With Tony living with us, she got to see what is a happy couple (most of the days), how we show affection to each other, how it is okay to fight and be kissing the next minute. She also got to know that when there’s something broken at home, either her toy or the washing machine, it was the man in the house who would repair it. She also knows that Tony doesn’t cook, drives her to class, takes her to swimming class, plays with her soccer, and reads her chinese books. When we both show up to pick her up at the daycare, she’d proudly present me as her mom and Tony as her dad to her friends.
I thank her to be my friend too. In days that I am sad, I have her by my side. She would give me hug and kiss when I most needed. She makes me know that no matter what, she’d be there for me.
as any kid, she can turn from crying badly to silly laugh as nothing has happened in seconds. I wish I had this ability to switch gears so quickly.
Eating is still a struggle for us. I say for us because we both suffer. She suffer because I am chasing after her to eat her food quickly, and I suffer because she already bargain with me or ignore me when I say so. So many times dinner time turned to a fight, quiet time and more crying. I know I should let it go and let her decide how much to eat. But it’s hard when all she would eat is two bites if I let her. But if I don’t do that, I end up being frustrated with us and myself everyday. Things that I plan to implement includes few or none snacks during the day, more physical activities, more food available for her that I know she’d like, and more patience with her. Kids are wired to want to play all the time… meal time is much less fun that playing with her dolls.
when is something she loves like the korean mochis, she can eat 1/2 of the package in one sitting.
She loves when we do activities together such as building a gingerbread house. I should do more with her.
She sleeps very well nowadays. We start bedtime routine at 8pm, brush her teeth, shower, PJs, 2 story books, one song three times, tons of kiss and hugs. I leave the room at 8:30pm. Sometimes she’d be asleep by 8:45pm, other days she’d be awake until past 9pm, but she stays in her bed all this time. She still naps when she’s at home, between 1.5-2.5 hrs. It’s glorious time for the adults.
She’s good at entertaining herself. She’s play pretend with her friends, she’d draw in the studio while I’m at the computer, plays with her kitchen, cooks us “meals”, pretend she’s the doctor and checks on us.
obviously she loves snow too. she was quite a companion to Tony for all this year’s snow cleaning.
more silly face
She’s a caring big sister. Laura is one year younger than her, and she takes care of her when we visit.
the funniest thing is that they communicate with shanghainese! It’s hilarious to hear them talk.
She loves loves her swimming class. She’s all by herself now and so proud to show me her new tricks. We will continue that as long as she’s into it.
She’s very independent too. She brushes her teeth, take shower, go to the bathroom, picks her outfit for the day, all by herself. She also often helps out with house work. For example, she’s in charge to put the fruit in the fruit basket after groceries, and she hands me over things to put in the fridge. And when I ask her to pick things for me around the house, she happily does it for me. A little helper we have.
She is just a cuttie!!!! 😀
She loves playgrounds. Now that the weather is nice, we try to go there every weekend. Usually it’s quite crowded. She likes going to the toys that other kids are playing. We’d wait and wait until it’s her turn, and then she abandon it few minutes after.
She loves reading me books. She knows two books by memory, “I’m a big sister” & “buenas noches luna” both in spanish.
And lately she’s became a real big sister, and she’s so proud of it. She loves watching Lizzy, gives her tons of kisses and hugs, and so eager to help. I can’t wait to see them interact!
This little person will soon to be a grown up. Although she upsets me when she has strong opinion on how she likes things… I am happy that she’s that way. I hope she’s strong opinionated as her mom, or even a better version of me.
I know I’m very strict with her and sometimes she hates me for that… I still think it’s important to set the limits and keep them, it’s parents’ responsability. Teach her to be disciplined, have good manners, respect others’, and most importantly that actions lead to consequences so she can learn to be responsible.
Other times I just want to give in, play with her as her peer, be silly, more kisses. Lately we’ve developed a mini tradition. I go to pick her up in the morning and we lie there to talk about the day that is starting, what we are looking forward, our plans for the upcoming weekend. When she’s still sleepy, we’d just lie there, hug and be quiet together. Love those moments!